As we near a year in London it's definitely time to do some more reflection and actually put some more effort into these and doing them more often as a pose to just huge dumps of information. Again to anyone reading Hi. 

Well after briefly scanning my last blog on this I have since worked on even bigger projects and been all over the world an to be honest and is continuing to happen which I am truly grateful for. It's mental to me sometimes truly it is. But at the same time this has come with some of the most intense self doubt and to be honest hatred in my work at times either via burnout or imposter syndrome or just feeling like I'm just a repetitive machine. 

I think after some strategic breaks, exercising more regularly and also spending time learning new techniques and actually spending more time with the work / images itself has also been a good way of mediating what I post / showcase either on here or my website. 

But all in all as I near 1 year in this absolutely mental place I'm definitely on a great trajectory and surrounded by amazing friends, colleagues and people to help me with this as well as my partner who has made me trying to 'relax' and 'take time off' far far easier. As me 'Switching off' is really fucking hard sometimes and creates a whole other complex of self doubt and stress as well. 

But anyways its all a learning process and thats never gonna change but learnt so much the last 11 months and ever grateful for it. 

See you sooner than expected I got some other shit I wanna talk about :) 

Doz

Kinda weird to think it's been just over 6 Months since I made the move to London. 

Guess it's probably quite fun to do the what went well's and even better if's. 

WWW: Probably some of the best work i've done and largest Jobs I've done have occured in the last 6 months with making to be honest massive strides in my personal style, editing and overall ability and capabilities in stills and video. 

Managed to maintain a fairly good balance and continue to be fully freelance over that time through the ebbs and flows which I'm still navigating and slowly building a more cohesive client base and portfolio. 

Over-archingly though very happy when I look back at stuff I've done and reminding myself of how young i actually am and there Is to experience, see and do going forward.

EBI: Christ I did not know the thievery that TFL is Jesus Christ need to get my back wheel fixed because its mental like £10 a day if i'm on the move a lot its mental. And aside from that I guess im still very much learning to be ok with 'slower' periods of work and stuff being cancelled or not going my way, I think because I rely so heavily on it financially when a job does fall through I tend to spiral most times out of 10, that being said its usually temporary as something else tends to come up. But again still navigating that side of it and hows best to prepare or be ready for moments like that. 

But anyways its been pretty good so far see you lot at 9 months :) 

The addictive Highs and unbearable lows. Is it all worth it?

Its something I think about a lot I find it hard to say no, but also love what I do and the opportunities it comes with, but when I find myself ill, exhausted, emotionally unstable and other health issues is it worth it? 

I guess I'm still learning balance in many regards learning to be more ok with days off and saying no to work that just isn't going to be as good but it doesn't happen easily when the idea of losing out on even small amounts of money which pay for what I do and things I want to do. 

Anyways off on tour next week and some fun bits coming.

Peace
Doz x

Think it's something I feel utterly quite used to but still has a similar effect on me. You get reached out to work, spend the next few days moving stuff around orchestrating it and getting yourself mentally ready to 'perform' in a sense and start to ideate and then in a blink of an eye its taken away from you. 

Usually nothing to do with you specifically but a choice by them made on there end of just choosing someone else, personal preference, favouritism or just dates or ideas not aligning.

You read it, your upset, your irritated and also questioning 'is it me?' but still I reply with the nice gracious 'thanks for thinking of me let me know of anything in future would love to work!' which is true I would and you hope they 360 on what they have just said most times it doesn't but you never know. 

I've learnt to take these as lessons or me 'dodging' a bullet or im simply not ready. Im 24 years old and I have a long time to do all of these opportunities and jobs that will come over time. in these moments I focus on the things I know I have coming up work wise and focus back in towards them. It's tough to do and takes a lot of discipline. But ultimately it's part of my job and if I can't handle it I shouldn't do it. 

Just thought I would vent and also if people do read this that they're not the only people, and its normal sadly but half the time has nothing to do with you despite how it may seem. 

Keep moving, pick yourself back up put yourself out there and something even better will arise. Be gracious even when stuff doesn't go your way, even if your'e upset.

I think this has always been a tough one for me to decide between and choose from. For years I exclusively shot film and still think in most regards to myself and my 'photo style' film is superior despite its ever risings costs & fail ratios that are far higher than digital. 

It's been odd though I think the last month or so my Sony A7iii has really grown on me. wether thats through my different use of both on camera and off camera flashes. Or that my ability to edit digital has improved over time as well. I think after 10 years of shooting my 10,000 hours in that regard of actually 'using' a camera in most senses is there and my understanding of its variations and variables I am confident in my ability in. 

I guess now my next 20,000 hours lie in, lighting, editing and maybe direction which in turn will enhance my imagery and skillset further. Its been nice to be almost 'learning something new' in a sense and that digital isn't as shit as I said it was a year ago hahahaha

I don't think I'll ever stop shooting film as it will always have a place for me in any scenario, but for jobs like test shoots, lighting tests and unpaid jobs digital is great way to work and significantly curve the incurred costs that film hold in that sense. But I guess thats something I gauge on whats worth using film on and what isn't. 

Anyways just some thoughts for the ether. Laters.

D x

It's now been a little over 3 months since I moved to London, been a lot of takeaways and lessons learnt. some work i've really enjoyed doing and some work I haven't as much. Peaks and Troughs of what I do. I feel as if now as we are in the new year I want to level up more. Do More and Be more but I get the feeling of lack of motion with it being the start of the year. 

In these moments I Try to remind my self of when all I wanted was a break or for it to be over. Balance is still something i'm very much working on guess we shall see what this year brings.

It's been Just over a month now since I moved down to London and its been a ride already, met people I dreamed of working with, feel like i'm making good head way with my skill & building out my portfolio and clients, as well as feeling more adult in general. 

Still adjusting to thieving TFL at 3 in the morning and the long bus rides and busy rush hours but on the whole feel like it was the right move. 

Speak soon 
D.

After 6 years in Manchester I moved back to London. 

Mainly it was for work and secondly a change. Felt a bit stagnant in Manchester and felt as if London had more to offer me in terms of my career, friends and experiences. I've been here for a week fully pretty much and I can confirm I was right. Im pursuing full time freelance which is terrifying but also, I think necessary. 

Since then it's been a whirlwind already, being reached out to by artists & brands I kinda would have never thought I would work for / with. As ive said before this blogs almost a diary to me now & I know it's been a while but I cant recommend it enough. Jump all in, be prepared for stress & uneasy times but with that you really learn to cherish the highs and 'career moments' as you go a long that road.